


I won't make a list and send it (to the north pole for St. Nick)

by daydreamingstoryteller



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5 + 1 technically, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Presents, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic Avengers, Eventual Loki/Tony Stark, Fluff, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Is Not Helping, also soo sorry this is super mega late, basically everyone lives and lives together as friends, civil war and ragnarok au, so be warned of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-03-06 02:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13401819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamingstoryteller/pseuds/daydreamingstoryteller
Summary: It started off as a joke and if you ask Clint, he’d say that it was Tony’s fault. Who else would willingly goad the resident not-evil-anymore-god-of-mischief into a challenge as stupid as this? But then again, it had started out as a joke.Loki and Tony end up in a challenge to see who can give better Christmas presents. And in doing so, manage to surprise, annoy, irritate and impress everyone else and each other (though not necessarily in that order).**technically, a 5+1 thing-written for oelfinessend, for the frostirongiftexchange2017. (almost finished fic, so updates will be posted everyday, for the rest of the week)





	1. The way it all started

**Author's Note:**

> Background: Set in an AU of Civil War, where no one gets hurt in the airport or Siberia. Instead of the accords, the Avengers Initiative is turned into a sort of NGO, where it is a separate institution that works alongside the UN and the separate countries on a case by case basis and Nick Fury works as the Avengers liaison. Ragnarok still happened but Odin survives and is trying to rebuild Asgard on Earth (in Norway). Loki and Thor live in the Avengers Tower with the rest of the Avengers while occasionally going to Norway to help Odin. Everyone is civil and they get along with each other for the most part. 
> 
> This is based on the prompt i got from oelfinessend from tumblr for the gift exchange. 
> 
> Ok so, this is super duper really freakin late so I'm sorry. This is not exactly what you asked, cause it's an AU of civil war but I really didn't know where to take that prompt other than in a really fluffy direction and so here it is. It was supposed to be a long one-shot but i figured it would work just as well as a multi-chapter fic. I've already finished writing the next 4 chapters and only have 2 or so to go, so this fic will be updated every day. I really am sorry for any mistakes (not beta-read so pls point them out if they are there and i'll fix them).
> 
> Hope you like it!! :)

It started off as a joke.

If you ask Clint, he’d say that it was Tony’s fault. ~~Well, according the other Avengers, everything almost always is Tony’s fault.~~ But then again, this time it was different.

It really was Tony’s fault.

Who else would willingly goad the resident not-evil-anymore-god-of-mischief into a challenge as stupid as this?

But to be fair, it had started out as a joke.

 

~~~~~

  
“What is this Stark?” Loki’s voice cut through the all the noise in the common room. “What are all these hideous and horrendous junk doing all over the common floor?” Loki snapped as he sneered at the scene of Christmas decorations overflowing everywhere.

“Oh hey Reindeer Games!” Tony yelled from his spot by the couch. “It’s Christmas!! I’d have thought you’d know about it since Thor told me you’ve been reading up on Earthly customs and celebrations and stuff.” He quipped.

Loki scoffed and crossed his arms. “Of course I know what this silly little holiday of yours is. What I am asking is why you have decided to turn this room into a chaotic mess of colours in honour of some fictional bearded human.”  

“Chaotic mess? I’d think that the God of Chaos likes chaos.” Tony retorted just as Clint asked his own question.

“When you say fictional bearded human, you talkin’ bout Jesus or Santa?”

Loki just stared at the two unblinkingly with an unimpressed stare.

“First of all, even in chaos, there are various different forms. I happen to adore the kind of chaos that is crafted with perfection – the kind that twists and turns a situation into something a little more…fun. This chaos is the other kind. It’s one that makes me want to hurl everything I just ate as it looks simply nauseating.” Loki uttered slowly, as if talking to a child. “Besides, I have standards, even when it comes to aesthetics. It is clear to me, however, that you do not but I could tell that just from the hideous colour schemes of your tin suits.”

Tony just stared at Loki with a flabbergasted expression on his face as Clint, the only other person in the room, started laughing out loud. He almost fell out of the couch too.

“Oh! Oh man Tones, you just got burned by Loki. This is amazing!” Clint exclaimed in between his laughter.

Just then, Loki turned to look at Clint. “Oh, and to answer your earlier question my little Hawk, I was obviously referring to the red and white clad Santa of Claus. I’m offended that you think I would insult your people’s faith and religion. Even though I might not agree with your faith, and know that none of it is true, I am not the kind to disregard something so important to your culture.”

“But Santa is also important to our culture.”

“On the contrary, he is something cooked up by your ancestors as a children’s story. Anyway, everyone knows he is not real even if they do like to pretend otherwise to their children.”

“But he is awesome” Clint continues.

“Well, if you call giving presents to little kids who supposedly were good, and mildly punishing the others awesome.”

“No, I mean the whole, delivering presents to every kid in the world in one night thing.”

“Anyone who has the ability to stop time, and are good at breaking and entering can do that with ease. It’s child’s play.”

Clint would like to point out that this is the moment everything went sideways into crazytown. Because, just as Loki had uttered that last sentence, Tony, who had been silent up until that point muttered out in a snarky tone, “As if.”

Suddenly, the silence rang loud across the room.

“Excuse me?” Loki questioned incredulously.

“I mean, sure you make it sound easy but it’s not like you could actually do it.” Tony replied.

“Are you questioning my skills Stark?” Loki spit out. “I’ll have you remember that I threw you out of this very tower once and almost killed this entire realm.”

“But that’s it though, you only _almost_ killed us. We stopped you.”

“That might be true Stark but I allowed you to stop me. In any case, my skills in the use of magic are unparalleled. I am the most powerful sorcerer in the entire nine realms. You’d do well to not test me.”

“Ok…. How bout we just settle this once and for all Rudolph?”

“What in heavens are you suggesting?” Loki huffed and glared slightly.

“A friendly competition if you will. Both of us. In the spirit of giving and all that jazz.”

“You’re challenging me into a competition of…. giving gifts?” Loki finally asked after figuring it out.

“Right on the nose! So here’s what I’m thinking. We each have to give three people gifts for the holidays, without them asking for anything.”

“And how would we decide that I won?”

“The rest of the team gets to vote based on who got the best and greatest and possibly even craziest gifts.”

“I am in a good mood today. So why not? In any case, I’d always enjoy embarrassing you and causing a bit of mischief.”

“Woah woah woah!” Clint cut in for the first time. “Hold up! I can’t let this go on.”

Tony and Loki both opened their mouths to reply but Clint cut in again.

“What I mean is I can’t in good conscious let this go on without some rules and guidelines people! So I’m thinking - you two need to give your gifts before midnight on Christmas Eve, and right after Christmas dinner, the team votes. Oh and to make it more fun, you can’t ever ask anyone else for help in choosing the gifts and the cherry on top: you each get to choose the three people for the other.”

The other two stared at each other, then at Clint and back at each other again. Loki uncrossed his arms and slowly let a smirk take over his face. “Well, I suppose those are agreeable terms. I accept.”

Tony snorted. “Deal. I can’t wait to wipe that blasted smirk off your face, your highness.” He bit out sarcastically.

“Great!” Clint clapped. “Ohh this is gonna be soo much fun to watch. Oh man, I can’t wait to tell the rest. But now, you two choose the three people for the other one.”

  


  


  


  


And with that, it had begun.

And if Tony started cursing at the Trickster only two minutes in, well… he only had himself to blame.

  



	2. Tony

(1) Tony: Nick Fury

 

“Okay Jay, Daddy’s got himself into a bit of a situation. I need you to pull up everything we have on the three people and we’ll see what we can do from there.” Tony exclaimed as he reached the workshop. He had left immediately after all the details were finalized.

“I assume you are referring to your childish challenge with Master Loki, sir. And If I may, I do think that asking me for my help goes against the rules set by Master Clint, which you agreed to sir just two minutes ago.” Jarvis replied.

“Stop being sassy with me Jay. Besides, I’m not asking for your help, I’m just…utilizing all my resources to my best effort. And in this case, that includes you – my personal AI that I created to assist me in everything. So you are, in essence a resource I am using to gather information.”

“I am hurt Sir, by your carless dismissal of me.” Jarvis bantered back, 

“Stop whining you big baby, you know that’s not what I meant. Just… please help me Jay. I need you in my corner if I’m going to win this thing.” Tony pleaded as he looked at the camera nearest to him in the workshop. He used his best puppy dog eyes and just stared at the camera. “I know you know why this is important to me.”

After a while, Jarvis’s voice echoed through the workshop, as if he was sighing. “Very well sir. I will do as you wish. And in that vein, maybe I suggest that you start with the dear old ex-director first. He does have a special day coming up this week.”

“Yeah? What’s that? The anniversary of the day he became Director or something?”

“Actually Sir, I believe it’s his wedding anniversary.”

At that, Tony almost startled out of his chair. “Of course that one-eyed bastard is married. Ok, I think I know what to do now. Jay pull up Nicky’s schedule for the next few days leading up to his anniversary. I want to see what he’s got to deal with.”

“I’d say he has a lot on his plate Sir, considering he is now the official liaison for the Avengers. He has a few meetings with the UN, the president of Norway and with Asgard’s council in his calender.”

“Ok, Jay, show me his schedule for his anniversary.” Jarvis pulled up the requested information onto the holoscreens. “And here I thought he was too busy annoying me to have actual work to do. Yeah, swap his meeting with Cap on that day with mine from Thursday. Also, reschedule everything else on that day to next week and make that meeting with me longer will you?”

“Would six pm to ten be sufficient time for a meeting sir?”

“Hell yea. And change the location of our _meeting_ to that Restaurant that Pepper loves. Book out the entire place for the night, reservations for two and send a car to pick up our dear Mrs Fury will you?”

“As you wish sir.”

“Great job buddy. One gift down, two more to go.” Tony remarked as he started to work on his suit modifications while in the meantime, Jarvis set about to doing as Tony had asked and made the necessary arrangements.

When the date of the anniversary rolled around, Nick Fury was pleasantly surprised and also understandably paranoid that something was up. He was sure this entire day was full just last week, with meetings and work related events. Because of that, he was on edge the entire day, feeling off for some reason he could not quite pin down. As evening rolled around, his chauffer drove him to his meeting with Stark. When he realized that the supposed meeting was to happening at one of the fanciest and most expensive Italian restaurants in New York, he just let out a long sigh. He should have figured that Stark would have something to do with all this.  Feeling much better and less paranoid (he did trust Stark not to kill him after all, even though the man was impulsive and reckless on a good day), he walked into the establishment. He was met with a deserted, yet welcoming room, filled with great ambience. In the middle of the room, was a table set for two. He was ushered to it, where he found a bouquet of roses with a little note attached.

_‘Thought you could use a little break. Happy Anniversary old man. Just a small holiday gift from your resident mad genius. No need to thank me. ;) –TS’_

Reading it, Fury smiled. Stark did have a long list of faults, but his big heart wasn’t one of them. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Fury settled down comfortably, as he waited for his wife. It seemed like it was going to be a great night and Fury was sure he was going to enjoy every minute of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses as to who the other five people are?


	3. Loki

(2) Loki: Some random guard at the Pentagon

 

Times like these, Loki really hated himself. Why did he have to get attached to humans of all creatures and why did he have to get attached to one so frustratingly infuriating as Stark? But then again, Loki knew why. It was Stark's personality and charm that made him get attached anyway. That idiot always knew what to say to get Loki riled up and that...that was amazing because in all the nine realms, no one had mastered that ability like Stark had in just a short while.

Anyway, right now, Loki wanted nothing more than to grab Stark by the shoulders and wring him continuously. He mentally cursed that adorable human for being so ingenious and yet annoying at the same time. Why? Because right now, Loki was standing in the middle of the Pentagon, - he was invisible mind you - looking at this pathetic human that he had to give a gift to.

When he decided to let Stark choose the three people for him, he thought he'd have to give presents to the Avengers, or the presidents or someone more ... important. Definitely he had anticipated someone who would give him a bit of a challenge. While the other two people on the list were expected, this man was not. Loki never once thought he'd have to get someone as random and boring such as this man a gift.

To be quite honest, Loki had already forgotten the human's name. Not that he minded or cared. This was just a simple minded human who just happened to be working as a guard in one of the most heavily guarded prisons in the planet. For all that mattered, he was a nobody. From what Loki gathered during his 'observations' of the man, said guard had been working here for ages, just guarding the prisoners routinely, day in and day out. It frankly was an extremely boring existence in Loki's opinion. Even still, the man's dedication to this job was astounding. Yet, it was really sad that he never got any recognition for what he did.

While Loki pondered on the man's predicament, he overhead another guard who had just come in, talk to his human. "Tomorrow, you'll be taking over Rogers' shift at Section 3A. That's the high priority case and under no circumstance should he ever be left alone you hear? That is one of the most deadly prisoners we have and if he gets loose; it'll be a mess to clean up. And it’ll be my mess. So do your damn job and make sure nothing happens okay?"

"Yes Sir. I copy." declared the guard. He was obviously a little nervous but only Loki could see that. HE had to admit the human was good at hiding his emotions.

_'Well, well. Looks like I get to have some fun with this after all._ ' Loki thought to himself as he let the thoughts of his plan take over his mind. His eyes brightened with barely concealed mirth as he let out a chuckle.

"Tomorrow I promise. You'll get the best present yet." He whispered into the guard's ear as he teleported back to the tower.

When the next day arrived, Loki teleported back to the Pentagon early. He had already memorized and taken note of the shift changes for the various guards, so he knew exactly how to time it. He made his way through the facility, his invisibility allowing him to make his way undetected into Section 3A where he found the so called Priority-One prisoner. Wasting no time at all, Loki cast a spell to disable all the technology in that section. And so, without anyone noticing, the security cameras and the locks to the cells short circuited and stopped working. 

Step one was done and Loki moved onto his next step. The cameras short circuiting would only give him a minute's time to get on to with his plan, before reinforcements came. Acting quickly and quietly,

Loki cast a paralyzing spell onto the current guards. Now they could not move or speak. Next, he let the cell doors open and gently pushed (read: violently shoved) the prisoner out. He then sat back and watched the guy knock out the still paralyzed guards and make a run for the exits.

Loki followed behind him, smiling big and bright. It was only going to be a matter of minutes now. As if on cue, there was the guard that Loki was tasked with giving a gift to, rounding the corner, on his way to start his shift. 

Seeing his target approaching, Loki bent down to the floor and using his powers, slightly froze the floor. The prisoner running ahead slipped and fell down loudly, alerting the guard of his presence. The fallen prisoner tried to get up but slipped and slid down the hallway, stopping right at the guard's feet.

The guard let his shock take over him, before he realized who he was looking at. When he finally connected the dots (it took a while as the poor soul was not that bright) he immediately, took out his Taser and used it on the unsuspecting prisoner.

Knowing that his job was done, Loki unfroze the floor and watching from the side-lines, as reinforcements came charging down the corridor only to stop dead at the sight before them. Then, one by one, they congratulated the guard for stopping the situation from escalating.  They dragged the dead weight of the prisoner back down to the cell, and dropped him back in. This time, fixing the doors and making sure they worked properly. By the end of that, the unconscious guards from before were awake and everyone was patting Loki's human on the back for saving all their jobs and lives.

Loki continued watching, but after a while the thrill wore off and he realized that this wasn't as much fun as he hoped it would have been. At least at the start it had seemed fun. Mentally, he promised himself that he'd make the other two more exciting for himself. With that thought, he returned back to the tower, ready to go gloat to Tony and the rest.  On his way down to the workshop, he was already thinking of his next two gifts and he could not help but laugh at all the possibilities.

_'It's going to be fun indeed'._


	4. Tony Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update during the weekend. Here's the next chapter!

(3) Tony: Odin Allfather

 

“Damn. Ok. Guess I should have figured that breaking into the Pentagon would be a piece of cake for him. Ok.” Tony muttered to himself.  He was grabbing a coffee in the communal kitchen, after a long session in the workshop.

“This is your fault you know.” A voice sounded from behind Tony. He spun around to find Natasha leaning against the doorway, looking at him with an unimpressed stare.

“Jesus Christ on a cracker woman! You know I have a heart condition. Sheesh.” Tony exclaimed, already making himself another cup of coffee. “And anyway, pray tell me what’s happened that is my fault now?”

“The additional security detail that the higher ups are thinking of putting on Loki. And by higher ups I mean the rest of the Team and Fury.” 

“What?”

“Loki just broke into the Pentagon Tony. And he managed to short circuit every single camera and cell with just a flick of his wrist. Thank heavens that this was just for a prank or whatever it is you two have going on.”

“Hey it’s not all my fault that the Pentagon can’t keep up with magic.”

“Not the point I was making. Point is, you’re messing with someone who is more powerful than any of us could ever imagine. Even Thor doesn’t know the full extent of Loki’s capabilities. So my point is, be careful Tones.”

“I’m always careful.”

“I’m trusting that you know what you’re doing. And even if you don’t, I’m gonna trust that whatever happens, you can handle it before it becomes a serious issue. Don’t prove me wrong on this one.” Natasha finished. She looked almost pleading. She stared at Tony for a few silent seconds. Then, with a small nod to herself she swept out of the kitchen.

"Jarvis, did that actually happen?" Tony asked as soon as he was alone.

"Yes sir, and might I suggest that you actually get back to work for once? You do seem to be short on time for your projects Sir. You still have two more people on your list and I do believe that you need all the time you can get. Especially if you wish to outdo master Loki as you have said you wanted to."

"Ok yea yea I'm going back to work. Buzzkill.” Tony whined. “Aren't you the one who is usually telling me to take a break though?" Tony quipped. "You know what, whatever. I'm heading down now anyway. Where are we with that shipment of Vibranium Jay?"

"King T'Challa has sent what you requested to the tower. It just arrived an hour ago and is being brought up to the workshop as we speak by Dum-E. If my calculations are correct and they always are, Sir, then we should have more than sufficient amounts of Vibranium for our use.”

"Great!" Tony clapped. "Now let's go make ourselves a royal throne." Tony exclaims enthusiastically as he bounds down to his workshop, coffee all but forgotten.

 

~~~~~

 

"Seriuosly? A throne? That's your big gift?" Loki scoffs. The Avengers had all arrived at Norway in the Quinjet and were walking down a building to a room where they would meet Odin.

"Nuh uh. Not just any throne Lokes.” Tony answered. “It's one made out of gold and Vibranium -a gold-Vibranium alloy to be more specific. It's the most indestructible throne in the entire planet. Heck, maybe even the universe. And more importantly, it's a very beautiful and elegant throne might I add."

"Aye, it is true brother.” Thor cut in, defending Tony and his creation. “Friend Tony had shown me the finished product to see and it is most beautiful. It looks as if it were forged form the heavens themselves. Father would love it."

"Alright fine. It happens to be a very pretty throne. What I don't understand now, is why all of us have to be present here.  Can't you have just mailed it over or something Stark?" Loki huffed. He really was not a fan of being back here. Even if it wasn’t Asgard, and even if the people did not hate him anymore, Loki would rather not chance anything. He had wanted to stay away for a while to get his bearings and that sentiment had not changed.

"No, Loki. This Throne is a gift from Tony yes, and yes - he did initially make it for your little game but he's graciously let it also be the official welcoming gift to Asgard form Earth and the Avengers.” Steve cut in.

 _‘What is it with everyone defending Stark today?’_ Loki thought to himself.

”So right now, the Avengers are here in Asgard or well, what will soon be Asgard- to present Odin with the Throne. And it's not just us here. Kind T'Challa will be meeting us soon too with his sister. Wakanda did give Tony the Vibranium to use anyway. It’s a token or something like that from one king to another.” Steve continued.

"So please, behave all of you. This is an official Avengers matter." Rhodey added in afterwards.

"Of course I'll behave darling. It is my gift I'm presenting after all." Tony said, batting his eyelashes lightly at his best friend, being ridiculous.

"Oh just shut up and walk Stark" Loki muttered as he sulked and continued onwards.

Needless to say, everyone in the throne room, including Odin himself. The Allfather was struck speechless at the sight of the new throne. And Loki would deny it always, but he too was impressed if the small smile and sparkle in his eyes were anything to go by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter ><  
> I still hope you liked it though! :)


	5. Loki Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super sorry that this is like goddamn fricking late. I promise I have the rest mostly written. This fic should be finished by the end of the weekend or latest mid next week. Thanks so much for sticking through with this fic and me for so long!! Y'all are teh best and I'm super sorry! ><

(4) Loki: Hulk

 

The next day, Tony was rudely awoken by the Avengers alarm. To be honest, Tony was more surprised that he was actually getting some sleep than he was by the alarm. Anyway, when the team got to the sight of the disturbance, it was very obvious that whatever was going on, it was not due to the typical villain of the week. The fact that a certain god of mischief was clearly absent from the scene was also a dead giveaway.

Nonetheless, the Avengers were more amused and annoyed than angry when they reached the scene and found giant metal robots - which looked like them. More specifically, they were ones that looked like Hawkeye, Loki, Thor and oddly, a certain angry military general. For a few minutes, everyone was just awkwardly standing there, not knowing what to do. They were called out due to some interference noted by the Stark satellites. So Tony assumed that whatever caused the alarm to go off, it had something to do with the robots but - the robots weren't doing anything.

"Uh... Is it just me, or is anyone else really confused on why there are disgustingly inaccurate and ugly robots of us here in the middle of god fuckin nowhere?" Clint's voice sounded over the comms.

"Language Hawkeye!" Steve retorted while everyone else cracked up. The language thing had become a running gag within the team.

"No, but, Clint's right Steve," Sam replied. "What are we supposed to be doing here? The robots are just standing there dead. It's not like we can bag them and take them to HQ or something. And we can't just wait around for them to start doing something. I mean-"

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me" Natasha's voice cut in. That's when everyone there noticed a green mist surrounding the robots and within a second or two, the robots seemed to magically come to life.

They barely had time to register what had happened before the robots started firing laser beams at them. The team burst into action, avoiding the beams and desperately trying to find weak spots in all that metal to immobilize them. However, within the first ten minutes, it was very clear to everyone that nothing they were doing was working. Their air support, Sam, Tony, and Thor, didn't do anything other than to provide distractions for the others but those who were grounded couldn't do much either.

"Bruce, it's a code green," Steve ordered into the comm. A roar was heard mere moments after and the team parted seamlessly to give way to the Hulk as he strode up to one of the first few robots. Everyone continued fighting as Hulk joined in. But, the moment Hulk's fist connected with the robot that looked like Thor, the robot burst into - confetti?

"Wait what the actual cat in the hat?" exclaimed Tony from where he was in the air. The robot that was once almost the size of two hulks, and was previously indestructible was now nth more than confetti. It was almost like the robot exploded and ... "Is that- wait is that a glass figurine of a bird!??"

Tony was right. Left behind, underneath the confetti was a small glass figurine of a peacock. The Hulk noticed it and bent down to gingerly pick it up. A small smile, one that no one had seen before, overtook his face. Placing the figurine into Thor's hands, the Hulk started to attack the rest of the robots. Just like the first, they all too burst into confetti and left behind various glass structures.

Everyone else figured that the Hulk had it handled, and started to pick up the little figurines and started to inspect them.

"Gotta admit, these are surprisingly good and cute and - Of course! Every one of them says Made in Loki-land." Natasha remarked, amused.

The Hulk grunted. "Puny god not too bad. Hulk like."

"No....." Came a whine from Tony. "No no no. Urgh. Should have known he'd pull something like this. That pesky little god and his magic. Now I have to one-up him and argh." Tony mumbled to himself irritated at the obvious gift that Loki had prepared specially for the Hulk.

"HAHAHAHA” Thor’s booming laughter cut through the commotion. “You should learn never to underestimate my brother, Friend Tony! He does love to "bring it" as you would say."

"Looks like you've got your hands full Tony. Better get cracking on that last gift." Sam added in and everyone just chuckled at the sight of Tony flying off, while muttering curses and instructions to JARVIS.


	6. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest should be up in a few days! Hope you like this and sorry for any mistakes ><

"Hey, has anyone seen Tony?" Steve asked the rest of the team that was gathered in the living room. Loki and Clint were playing a video game, and they were ignoring everything else, so they didn't hear Steve's worry and concern.

Thor, who was in the middle of a discussion with Bruce, looked up at Steve. Looking at his worried face, he answered, "I'm sorry Steven, but I have not seen Tony since we came back from the mission, or well, not-mission concocted by my brother."

"Wait what? You mean that mission that was a playday for Hulk? But that was days ago! Has anyone seen him since then?" Steve asked again, concern seeping through his voice. He knew Tony was used to disappearing binges but he had toned them down since the Avengers started living together full-time. He hadn't gone off the radar for this long in quite a while. 

"Relax, Steve," Natasha spoke from her spot on the couch. She was reading a book and she didn't take her eyes away from her task as she continued. "Why don't you just ask Jarvis? Jarvis where's Tony?"

"I'm afraid I am unable to respond to that request Ms. Romanoff." Jarvis answered in a tone that should not be possible for an AI to emulate.

"Because - as you can tell - Jarvis isn't helping Nat. That's why." Steve sighed, as he ran a hand through his hair. He really felt like he was going to get grey hairs from all of his teammates shenanigans.

"Oh no! Damn it!" Clint yelled out suddenly. Everyone in the room, which was everyone but Tony, looked up, startled and ready to suit up. When they realized it was just Clint losing the game, they all let out a frustrated groan.

"Hey! Stop being a sore loser and stop freaking us out man!" Sam chastised as he threw a pillow at Clint's head. "Steve's already worried enough as is, so stop putting us all on edge."

That was when Loki and Clint took notice of the atmosphere of the room. Loki was the first to speak. "What's going on? All you morons look like someone died." He drawled in a bored tone.

"Tony's missing and Jarvis can't tell us where he is." Bruce replied. At that, both Clint and Loki got visibly upset.

"Jarvis doesn't know where he is?" Clint asked.

"No, Jarvis just says that he can't tell us anything about Tony. In fact, the last time anyone had seen him was after the Hulk thing, a few days ago, when he left agitated about your stupid bet." Natasha added, she was already thinking that the bet was a stupid idea, and the events that followed kept proving her point, and kept adding to her concerns.

“I have to agree with her.” Bruce stepped in. “I only saw Tony once after that thing and he was clearly running on no sleep and frustrated over your bet. He got so upset at Dum-E and practically kicked me out of the labs.”

“I’ve never seen Tony this worked up about something that was not mission related. This bet has gotten out of hand. If Tony doesn’t turn up soon, I’m going to have to stop this silly bet.” Steve declared while glaring at Loki and Clint. This was the two of them and Tony’s fault, and he could not have hs team fracturing over a stupid bet, no matter how fun it was to see.

“Brother, who was the last person you tasked Tony with giving a present to? I think we should know and then perhaps, we can use that to figure out what has happened.” Thor asked, trying to get everyone to calm down, especially Steven.

“I don’t see how this is my fault at all brother, but very well, the last person is Justin Hammer.” Loki stated matter-of-factly. He was trying to hide his growing anxiety by looking nonchalant. He was having fun with their little bet, but he never wanted to hurt or cause harm to Tony and the thought that Tony might be overworking himself for this stupid challenge was weighing in on him – not that he’d ever let it show.

“Justin Hammer?” Natasha asked as she suddenly put down her book, and slowly walked over to the couch in front of the console. She grabbed Loki by the collar and pulled him up to her eye level. She glared at him, as she spoke her next few sentences.

“Do you know, how much of a scumbag Hammer is? What he’s put Tony through? Tony doesn’t think things through sometimes and if he’s done something utterly stupid because he was obsessed with you and this stupid little game of yours, I will end you. He’s like my brother and if you are toying with him or his emotions I will skin-“

“I did it!” A voice cut through the tension like a shrill alarm. Everyone turned around to see an utterly unkept Tony Stark walking in form the elevator, with a tablet on his hands. His hair was everywhere, and he was so focused on his tablet, that he didn’t notice the situation in the living room.

Slowly, Natasha released Loki, and hesitantly turned to Tony. “What did you do?” She asked, not wanting to know what had happened, but needing to know all the same.

“I gave Hammer one of my suits!”

“WHAT?”


	7. Tony Part 3 (Final of Tony's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not yet properly edited, so please let me know if there are any mistakes. This is the longest Chapter yet.

(5) Tony: Justin Hammer

 

It was almost comical the way everyone in the room shouted at the same time. Clint was gawking at Tony from where he still sat. The rest were equally shocked and rooted to their spots. Even Loki, who had more faith in Tony was looking at the disheveled inventor with his mouth wide open. The only one who didn’t show any physical reaction to the news was Natasha.

The only sign that she had even heard him, was the slight frown on her face, that no one except Clint and Loki caught on to. After the outburst though, the room fell completely silent. No one knew how to react, mostly because they were still processing everything that had happened in the past minute. So, they all turned to Natasha, who was still silently looking at Tony.

She looked at him, quietly taking in his appearance; assessing him in a way that only a trained assassin could do. She could also feel the stares from the rest. Without even turning around, she could tell that Loki was intensely watching her, wary of what she might do to him.

Collecting her thoughts, she briefly closed her eyes and let out a breath. She opened them, and walked up close to Tony, determination radiating from her every move. She gently grabbed Tony by the arm and led him to the couch. “Sit.” She ordered as she took a seat on the coffee table in front of him. She took a look at the tablet he still clutched in his hand.

“Tony,” she started with a calm voice. “What did you do?” She asked, eyes trained onto his. He could see that he was exhausted and sleepy. He couldn’t focus on her and instead was looking around at everything else.

“Tony.” She repeated with a firmer tone. That shook Tony out of it long enough for him to get back his train of thought. His eyes lit up. Suddenly, like an excited puppy, he started fiddling with his tablet, and started to pull something up on the monitors and TV.

“Oh! Oh my god Nat I did it! I stayed up all… however many days already and I finally finished it and it’s awesome. I still hate that son of a bit-“Tony rambled but was cut off when Natasha’s hand grabbed his own again.

“котенок. Listen to me. Did you give Hammer a suit?”

Everyone else, who were still observing the conversation, held their breadths.

“Well, no it’s more like I let him steal it.” Tony responded, not being aware of how his words were affecting everyone else in the room. “Or to be exact, I let him think he stole it, but really I was the one who set it up and –“

Nat interrupted him again, by tightening her hold on him. “Okay. You let him steal a suit, but what suit was it?”

“Huh?”

“Tony, I need you to tell me so that I can fix this. What suit did you give him, An old one? The nanotech one? What are its capabilities?” Nat went on. She was already thinking of seven contingency plans in her head. Her words however, seemed to snap Tony out of his trance.

“Nano tech?” He asked bewildered. “Nat, who do think I am? I am not going to just, hand over my tech to that fucking lowlife scumbag criminal!”

“Then what did you give him?” Nat questioned immediately after, without missing a beat.

“A hi-tech jigsaw puzzle.”

“Explain.”

Tony sighed. “A box Tasha. I gave him a box of scraps of my earliest marks. From before the breakup with Pepper. They’re literally worthless if you don’t know how to put it together and even then, the suit doesn’t have any firepower.” Tony defended himself. How could she even believe that he would do something as stupid as handing over a fully functional suit to Hammer of all people.

Hearing this, Natasha felt relieved. She didn’t let her guard down yet fully, but she stopped planning contingency plans in her head. “Okay. I’m sorry for doubting you.” She said quietly, not betraying any emotion. “But I know that there is more to this so spill everything.”

Tony relaxed into the seat and went back to his tablet. He pulled up the files he was looking for, before turning to address the entire room. “Okay, so you all might want to sit down to enjoy the show.” Without waiting to see their reactions, he turned back to Natasha who was still looking at him, but now she had an amused expression on her face. She quirked her eyebrow at him, signalling to him that she still needed a full explanation.

“Okay, so the terms of the bet was that I had to give them a present but it never said anything about taking the present back after I’d given it to them. So, yesterday, I let Justin Hammer acquire a box that had my old disassembled suit. Even though Justin is the worst, he’s just the right amount of smart to be able to piece the suit back together. And I was counting on that. Because when he pieces it back together, it comes online but doesn’t do anything. It only has one function and that… is the real kicker.” Tony was getting more and more enthusiastic as he went on and everyone could see it.

“So what does it do man?” Clint asked, getting impatient.

“I’m getting to that Hawkass.” Tony groans but gets back to the story. “Anyway after it’s pieced together, I can remotely access the suit from my tablet and activate the real final act. And just so you know, I got the notification of the suit being active a couple of minutes ago. Which is why I ran up here. We, are going to watch the entire thing live, using the camera feed from the helmet.” Without wasting anymore time, he started up the live feed and everyone could see a very frustrated Hammer yelling at his people to do something about the suit not working. Tony only spared a small glance to see that everyone was watching. Before anyone knew it, Tony had tapped a few keys on his tablet and the suit in the feed started to whir to life.

Soon, it was all over in a matter of minutes. If one were to ask any of the Avengers what really happened, they would not be able to explain everything. There were horrible crappy Christmas songs blasting from the suit’s speakers, the suit declaring it’s undying fidelity to Stark industries, disses about Hammer and finally, a burst of glitter that spewed all over Hammer and everyone in the vicinity.

In the end, the suit shouted “HO HO HO, Merry Christmas” and jetted out of the Hammer warehouse, leaving behind a stuttering and confused Hammer (covered in glitter) and a mess of confetti all around.

“And now the suit is currently on-route back to us.” Tony declared, just as someone started to crack up.

It was Sam. He started cackling like an evil maniac, and then proceeded to fall over himself, laughing out loud. Clint soon followed after, actually rolling on the floors with laughter and one by one everyone sans Tony, Loki and Natasha were laughing, Tony was highly amused at the scene and was enjoying his success while Loki silently stared at him.

Slowly as the laughter died down, Natasha stood up from where she was sitting. She held a hand out to Tony and declared, “Okay, as fun as that was, you need to sleep and I’m not taking no for an answer Stark.”

“Back to Stark now is it? What happened to the Russian endearments?” Tony joked as he took her offered hand.

“That’s reserved for when you’re being insufferable or being an idiot.” Natasha quipped.

Tony was about to reply with a snarky retort when Natasha whispered, “You did good Tony.” She smiled, and Tony smiled with her.

“But bed. Now. Before I make you.” She ordered immediately after. She wasn’t going to take a no for an answer.

Tony reluctantly agreed and started to follow her out of the living room. And as he and Natasha left, everyone returned to their own things. Except for Loki, who kept his gaze on the pair until they got onto the elevator. Only once they were gone, did the trickster disappear. He looked like he had some research to do, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one person left, and only one chapter left! Last Chapter will be up on Christmas Day. 
> 
> Happy Holidays! :)


	8. Loki Part 3 (The Finale)

(6) Loki: Natasha

 

Time passed by quickly after that. Soon, it was Christmas Eve. Everyone had been on edge the past few days. It was the last leg of the bet, and Loki still had one last person to go. The worrying thing about it, was that he had not been doing anything. Loki had went about doing his own thing all week. He didn’t show any sign of preparation and wasn’t even giving any indication that anything was up. It put everyone on red alert.

Now, it was hours before the end of the deadline. It was Christmas dinner and the dining room was jam packed with all the avengers and friends. The Avengers, who were the only ones who knew about the exact terms of the bet, were all glancing at Loki throughout the night. They didn’t know when anything could happen. They were waiting for something, but nobody knew what that something was. Soon, the dinner too was over and there was only the Avengers left in the common room. There was one hour left on the clock, but Loki was just lounging blissfully on the couches, without a care in the world.

It was Thor who broke the subject first. “Loki, do you not have a gift to give?”

Loki glanced at him and drawled, “Hmmm yes Thor. I guess I do.” After that he went back to ignoring everyone, but Thor kept interrupting.

“There is less than an hour brother. Perhaps you should get to it before the deadline comes up?” He suggested. Everyone was watching them now. This bet, while stupid and anxiety-inducing, had been entertaining and they were eager to see how it will end.

Loki just hummed again and got up. “Very well.” He sighed. “I guess I shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

Everyone in the room was waiting. They didn’t know who the last person was, as Tony didn’t want to say. But going by Loki’s words, they could guess that it was one of the avengers in the room. They kept watching as Loki walked up to Tony. Tony was looking on with an amused and confused expression. He couldn’t tell what Loki was trying to do, but he was buzzing with anticipation.

Everyone else were confused, when Loki walked up to Tony. They wondered if Tony was the last person but before any of them could question Loki, Loki stopped directly in front of Tony. They were really close.

Loki looked down at Tony. Their faces were a couple of inches apart now. Their breaths were mingling together, as they breathed each other in. Tilting his head slightly, Loki looked out at Natasha, who was standing behind Tony, near the bar counters. Without taking his eyes off Natasha’s he loudly told the room, “This is for you my darling spider.”

Just as he said those words, he quickly but gently grasped the sides of Tony’s face, and pulled him close. Their lips crashed softly against each other’s, and Tony let out a gasp. Loki gently let himself taste Tony. It was a mixture of hot chocolate, whisky and peppermint. Slowly, he pulled back.

Tony looked up at Loki and was shocked into silence. He looked at those green eyes and was trying to process what happened when Loki let him go and looked back at Natasha. The rest of the room was silent.

Ignoring the rest, Loki and Natasha just stared at each other, until Clint cursed out loud. Soon, everyone was shouting and grumbling as everyone else started giving Natasha money. Even Steve grumbled a little as he took out his wallet.

She had won the other bet that the rest had going on. She was the only one that bet that Loki would make the first move and kiss Tony, before the New year. Now the rest of them owed her at least twenty bucks, and some even owed her cookies. With all of that in, she just got around a couple hundred bucks and the promise of free cookies in the future.

Needless to say, Natasha was more than happy and satisfied – not that she showed any of it other than a small smirk. Once the confusion and commotion died down, Natasha just calmly walked up to Loki, looked at how he was still standing close to Tony and just warned him in a whisper, “Don’t break him.”

Loki just nodded at her and watched as she said goodnight and left the room. Tony, who was still standing there, surprised by the turn of events, shook himself out of it and grabbed the trickster by the collar of shit shirt. “You. Me. Bedroom. Now.” He said with authority before he dragged Loki out of the room and in the direction of his floor.

In the end, by the next day, it was declared that Tony won the bet - everyone was still upset at Loki for making them lose to Natasha. However, they all also knew that really, the ones who won were Loki and Natasha. And interestingly, the two of them became closer after the entire ordeal, bonding over Tony of all things. On New Year’s, as the group celebrated together, Clint looked around at the room, at all his friends enjoying themselves. Fury was chatting with Steve and his wife; Loki and Tony were cuddled up in the corner with Nat reading to them; Thor was talking to Hulk about his figurine collection and that random dude from the Pentagon was sitting by the Tree (gifted to them by Odin) geeking out over everything.

From where he was perched, on top of the fridge, Clint looked down at his family and wondered at how something this wonderful came out from a stupid bet. It really did start out as a joke after all.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay and mistakes! Thank you guys for sticking with me til the end! I started this at the start of the new year and i think it's fitting that i've come full circle at the end. Thanks so much for all the love. Not sure if i'l be writing for Marvel again, but hmu at tumblr if you wanna chat :)
> 
> Love you all and Happy New Year everyone! :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for any Marvel pairing (I usually stick to DC pairings) and also my first time participating in an exchange so feedback is appreciated! Next update will be tomorrow and I adore comments more than anything else so if you have the time pls tell me what you think!! And thanks for reading :) Also, title is from the classic 'All I want for Christmas' song.


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